May 23, 2024

Highandright

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Attitudes That Create Disunity in Families

4 min read

Attitude means the way you think, feel and believe about something or somebody. That is: how you feel and believe about something. There are right and wrong attitudes. Your action will always give you away even when you try to cover up. Your behaviour determines whether you enjoy unity or not in your marriage.

Lack of unity in a home breeds hatred and terror. It brings enmity between husband and wife. Hatred among brothers and sisters. It is painful when either of the couple discovers he/she has been deceived into a wrong relationship. A let down could bring disunity into a marriage. When you fail on your promises, your partner may decide not to go along with you in truth

Envy is one of the by-products of lack of unity. It gives rise to a situation where people are thorn in the flesh of others, where members of the same family see one another as an enemies instead of being complementary towards achieving greatness. Your own blood relation could stand against your progress if he/she thinks or feels your progress is a threat to his/her life. Likewise in marriages. Your spouse could become a thorn in your flesh where there is no unity.

The Covenant of greatness is for every family – for the favour of God is on him who finds a wife. Finding a wife is the starting point of a family. Marriage is not without responsibility. When you fail in yours as a parent, the children rebel (going against parents by most children stems from lack of unity between parents). Spouses are to work out their salvation so as to enjoy the favour of God meant for them by being alive to their duties.

When husband and wife do not speak with one voice, the children are helplessly watching and mostly not happy. Rebellion is the known way for children to protest their parent’s lack of proper co-ordination.

No child was born wayward. Most children rebel when they are unhappy with the state of things between their parents.

Showing love, care and living a life of dignity endear children to their parents. Lack of submission on the part of the mother to the father, the suppose head of the family, is one reason a child sometimes misbehave, just to show disapproval.

When the head of the family does not stand up to his responsibilities, he shows less care for the wife (mother). Your shouting, abusive language on your wife, treating her as a second class citizen, lack of love shown to the mother, are painful to the child. Such child’s confidence and trust in the father is gradually being eroded. He/she may not alter a word but you as a father have planted a rebellious seed in him/her.

For every child, both parents are very important to him/her at birth and all through infant. Parent’s attitudes determine his/her rating as he/she grows. The best is for the parents to understand their roles and play all in love.

It is good to point children to the right direction. Encourage them to ask questions. Be available – if not always, find time once in a while to be with them. Children who took to negative ways of life are in most cases, victims of being left to find ways by themselves.

Thank God for the war against child abuse in Nigeria. But what can we do to parents who gave birth to children they cannot care for. Or those parents who give their infants out for labour? Such parents live on the money paid by those who hired such children. Such children develop hatred for their parents.

Comparing or showing that you have preference for any of your children leads to rebellion in a home. Such attitude leaves an indelible mark in the heart of children who are at the receiving end. The Word says fools compare themselves among themselves. (2 Corinthians 10:21). No one loves to be criticized but at times it is inevitable. However, it is wise to be considerate in your approach, doing unto others what will please or make you happy if you are given such treatment. (Matthew 7:12).

Children could rebel when their father takes another wife. Or when mothers cheat on their father. They detest it, why? They feel depreciated among their peers. It is a heat issue that must be rectified.

A qualitative classroom education without moral lessons breeds adults who show no love and affection to their parents. They also go about their goals in life with little or no regard for value or the family name. Live in love, live in unity. Do all within your power to see that the cord of love and unity is strengthened in your family. See to it that a new Nigeria starts from your home.

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