How to Bring About Unity in a Marriage

Seeking for a change of status or story, are you sure you are not working or praying at cross purposes with your spouse? He or she may not be comfortable with change now and it may be difficult to bring about the desired status.

This is why you need to look inwards and check the health of your marriage. For, without unity of the mind, things would get tougher and frustrating.

What can you say about the level of unity in your marriage? Average, good or none?

In science laboratory, catalyst is essential to make a chemical reaction happen.

You have to introduce catalyst if you want your desired results to come faster. So also it is in the world of marriage; unity is a catalyst.

It is the responsibility of the couple to introduce unity into their relationship as quickly as possible if they desire a progressive marital life.

Unlike in the world of science where you can get sodium chloride to buy from a chemical shop in your neighbourhood, in the world of marriage, you have to manufacture marriage catalyst by yourself. You cannot find it on any shelf to buy.

What Is Unity?

It is the state of being in agreement and working together, being joined together to form one unit to achieve.

The definition has explained unity in a layman’s language. Unity is the language of marriage. A situation of two hearts breathing as one shows that without unity, marriage cannot survive. The world is full of confusion, turbulence and confrontation of different sizes and shapes such that you need a person of the same value to live and excel with. From the look of things, unity is very, very important.

How then can we come about unity since it is not in the store? You start building unity from the day you make up your mind to marry a man or a woman of your choice. How?

By getting it into your consciousness that marriage relationship is not about “you”, it is about him or her. Let it register in your brain as the case may be. You have made the choice of casting your bread upon the waters, for after many days, you will find it again. (Ecclesiastes 11:1).

Marriage relationship demands that you deliberately do all within your reach and legitimacy to please your spouse, your number one and best friend.

You have to discern the area of his/her life where you can touch to bring about his or her heart desires. Address a pain. It will be building on a wrong foundation if you focus only on your personal happiness and self-realization in the union. Thinking only of what you can get leads to heart break and frustration. Marriage is not self-centred but is about love, care, affection, consideration for your spouse, giving trust, build the bridge for honesty, self-discipline, compassion. Show your responsibility and mutual respect. These are the loaf of bread you will cast on waters. Showing your love in divers ways as occasion demands and then see the wall of unity growing and being fortified with bronze as long as you continue the process.

When this attitude becomes reciprocal, that is not one-sided, the duo is responding positively to their spouse’s love, based on behaviour, the marriage will stand the tests and trials that confront marriages.

Then unity of mind will help in making things happen faster.

Note: In my next column, I will still continue with how to build unity in marital relationships. It’s our story.

See you then!